I met Sophie B. Hawkins today. (Melancholy squeak!!) She was on my plane. I was having lunch today in a city far away from Nowhere, WY with a bunch of wonderful women I am tethered to from a corporate standpoint. One asked, “Anyone have any big plans for the weekend?”
“I am going to see Sophie B. Hawkins. She is playing Nowhere, WY.”
One replied, “Really? That is cool!”
And then I got some quizzical stares. “Sophie who?”
“Sophie B. Hawkins! You know…” and then I started to sing, “Damn, I wish I was your lover…”
“Oh that is cool. I love that song –or did until you sang it Sadie.”
When I read Sophie B. Hawkins was coming to Nowhere, WY; I was excited. I asked loving Husband Raynard and BFF Cal if they wanted to go.
“Sophie who?” they asked.
“You know, DAMN, I WISH I WAS YOUR LOVER…” I sang in my very best Sophie B. voice; and then I played it on my iPod so they could actually recognize the tune.
“She is not just a talented singer; you know she is a poet.” I said. “Do you remember the song As I Lay Me Down To Sleep?”
The point? I made up my mind months ago when it was announced Sophie B. Hawkins was coming to Nowhere, WY; I was gonna go see her –no matter who went with me.
So, as I boarded my plane today at DIA, I realized there was a very cute blonde walking in front of me. And she kept walking. When you are headed to a gate bound for Nowhere, WY, you have to go SUB-DIA and she kept moving forward. I looked at the man next to me, whose wife is known for being “in touch” with art in Nowhere, WY and asked, “Is that SOPHIE B. HAWKINS?”
“I don’t know, I think she is in a band, probably has something to do with the festival this weekend.”
And then I KNEW, it was her. How do I make the best of this situation? How do I meet her? Once I got on the plane and she was seated, I walked up and said, “Are you Sophie B. Hawkins?”
Voice in my head was screaming… “Sadie, don’t be a goofus!”
“Oh, I am so excited you will be playing the festival this weekend!! Thank you for coming to Nowhere, Wy.”
“Are you coming to see us?”
“Of course, I am very excited about Friday’s concert.”
“What is your name?” She asked as we awkwardly shook hands.
And then, I tried to pull myself together. To prove this point: in the middle of my flight, Sophie got up and dug through her carry-on; which was conveniently located right above my head. And I did not grab, grope or ask for an autograph. (SHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT! Out of this whole story I am going to tell you, I realized right now I did NOT ask for one autograph. Not even a paw print from her dog Huckleberry.)
I am scared of flying and EVERYTHING, spiders and EVERYTHING, traffic and EVERYTHING, semis and EVERYTHING including life. If you have been here, you KNOW this about me. But imagine this fear of flying, narrowly escaping being bumped from my flight. To realize once seated, introduced to Sophie B. and buckled in this plane is overweight. You, Sadie Wilson, have really big hips and LIED on about your weight on your driver’s license photo. It is at this moment the pilot comes over the PA to say, they have “adjusted as much luggage as we can as we were having weight issues, we are happy they did not have to bump anyone, either way, it is going to be a really rocky landing in Nowhere, WY as winds have been really strong today. This is going to be a rough one folks.”
Ummm; REMEMBER ME? THE LADY WITH ALL THE FEARS? Please don’t tell me it is gonna get rough, ‘cause in fact, I have NEVER been on a GOOD flight.
That is the point I realize I am on a plane with a fucking Rock Star.
When the news headline reads: Poet & Singer dies in Plane Crash near Nowhere, WY, who is gonna think my friend Sadie was on the plane? I started texting right away. I thought if I have to die for the sake of the blog, fans should know that I died with Sophie B. Hawkins. How do I get a photo for proof? From that moment on a PHOTO should have been was my only concern, I prayed a lot in those few hours.
The plane had the rocky landing they promised. I got off the plane focused on getting a picture of Sophie B. I tried to be all cool and nonchalant. I gathered my nerve to approach her again. It was then that I noticed her dog; shamefully I must report I got distracted and started playing with Huckleberry. I asked if anyone from the festival was going to be meeting her to show her the community?
“I think so.” She replied.
I finished the conversation with, “I used to work for the Chamber of Commerce, if you need help or directions I will be at baggage claim.” And I walked away, cool.
Voice in my head: “Shit Sadie, you forgot the photo.” So I chastised myself at baggage claim.
And then Sophie B. Hawkins and her band came and asked me questions. Regarding the festival, the hotel, where to eat, what should they see? We stayed and chatted for about an hour. I went to my car and got them a map of my community and outlined different places. I got them some literature about different places to see in the surrounding areas. I was a one woman visitor’s center and I played it pretty cool. You would have been proud.
And then Sophie asked, “Can I have your phone number in case we get lost?” I laughed at how funny it seemed, and she said, “no really.”
“You can have my number, but I don’t want to seem all creepy.”
Sophie looked at her band and said, “Does she seem creepy to you?” So I gave her my number. (I realized later that I did in fact forget to give her my area code. 7 digits, what kind of idiot only gives seven digits? F!)
And I started to walk to my car again and realized I still did not get the photo, but Sophie and I are kindred spirits at this point so it wouldn’t be creepy to ask for a photo right?
I got in my car giggly and laughing all the way home –so excited to tell loving Husband Raynard about my adventure with Sophie and her band. He went to grab my suitcase from my trunk and I realized I was so distracted by the shiny
SOPHIE objects I forgot to pick up my bag at the airport.
Raynard shook his head and looked at me, “you are kidding right?”
“Ok, I will go back with you to get your bag.”
I said, “you know I feel like an idiot.” But came back quickly in my very best Sophie B. voice sang: