I have not written. I’m not dead…

Jake is.

I haven’t written lately, as the whole family has been greiving and saying goodbye to so many things.

We said goodbye to summer.

We said goodbye to the College boy.

We said goodbye to childhood homes.

We said goodbye to lifelong friends.

It has been very emotional and a little tense around the Wilson home for some time now.  It will get better this week.  I had a story I so wanted to tell you.  It is mostly written, now I just have to find a way to tell the REAL story.

About two weeks ago I received a FB status update from KT and the Sunshine Band, a family friend that said, “if you have known and loved my Dad, now is the time to come say goodbye.”

UMMM… wait!  WE JUST TALKED 2 WEEKS AGO.  YOU SAID 3-6 MONTHS?

I wasn’t ready for this.  

KT’s dad is the man I have spent more than 1/2 of my birthdays with.  I showed up with a birthday cake to celebrate one last birthday. The next day he celebrated his wife’s birthday for the last time, and the next day… Thanksgiving.  A couple days later, he left this world.

It was a full week for his family too.

So this is only about me from the perspective that everything is about me.  They are dealing with a whole lot too. Keep Jake’s family in your prayers.  As we went through this process Jake’s family asked me to do the eulogy.  I got to sit down and be privy to a family I idolized my whole life.  What I learned in the process of writing the eulogy did NOT make me any less envious of the life they had lived.

From outside: idealistic.  Nothing I uncovered would lead me to believe that it was not.

What I did uncover?  A request to save the grieving widow from someone in her family and maybe a leaning towards video piracy.  Nothing scandolous by any means.  Damn!!

I was told I would have full credit for the blog to write what I found out.  THANK BLOG!!

One of Jake’s grandchildren told me he may (or may not) have all of her choir concerts on video.  Video was strictly forbidden, the school wanted you to buy theirs.  But I suspect Jake may have owned all of Abby’s concerts, no matter what the establishment said.

I am on Jake’s side on this argument. I don’t hear well, sometimes I need to tape what I am hearing just to make sure I hear it correctly later. Had I invested in a tape recorder, I may have never spent two years in the  starter kit marraige. C’est La Vive.

The family asked me to write a eulogy and MAKE IT FUNNY.  Umm, when I started writing this, I thought I had to GIVE it in a catholic church.  I am pretty sure I could go DIRECTLY to hell, do not pass GO, go directly to hell for that.  The night before the eulogy they told me no, Brother was doing that.

REPRISE.

So here are the two jokes I wrote for the wake… that I did not use, because I am learning… it ain’t all about me.

Jake’s Son told me he joked that between one of his colleague’s father’s and his father 2/3 of the world’s internet bandwith may have been taken up.  So I pondered that fact, (Jake was known to his family as Papa Jake) and realized that would make the perfect Madonna video parody, thank BLOG he didn’t have twitter!  Otherwise it would have been:

Papa’s got tweets –I’m in trouble deep.

Papa’s got tweets, but I have made up my mind –I’m keeping my pen name.

Not to be outdone by the 2nd joke I wrote for the wake.  Jake’s wife had asked me to come and protect her from the one boobed aunt. Until the night before the wake I never met the one boobed aunt, (let me say, that is all I knew, the one boobed aunt.  I have one of those myself.)

to KT and the Sunshine Band….

ME: your mom asked me to protect her from the “one boobed aunt”
that sounds like the plot of the fugitive 2.

ME: Really officer!  It wasn’t me, I saw her briefly!

ME: It wasn’t me, she was here!  In this general AEREOLA! (Note: I did not put photo here AND YA’ll laughed at Chandler Bing’s 3rd nipple.)

Yeah, pretty sure I am going to Hell anyway.

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